ETIQUETTE AND CUSTOMS

People Communicate Not Only With Their Words But Also With Their Bodies. In Indonesia, As In The Rest Of The Muslim World, The Left Hand Is Used For Personal Sanitary Functions And Is Therefore Considered Unclean. It Is Offensive To Give Or Receive Things, Particularly Food Or Money, With The Left Hand. To Strict Muslims, Dogs Are Also Unclean So That Most Indonesians Are Acutely Uncomfortable Around Them. Pointing Is Rude Here Too. One Does Not Point At Other People With The Finger. If A Pointing Is Used, It Is Usually The Thumb. To Point One’s Toes At Another Is Also Impolite. Therefore, Take Care When You Cross Your Legs. To Japanese At Least, Putting One’s Hand Or Hands On The Hips Is A Sign Of Arrogance Or Hostility. In Traditional Javanese Culture, A Lesser Person Does Not Have His Head Above That Of A More Senior Person, Which Has Given Rise To The Javanese Habit Of Ducking Their Heads As They Greet People And Walking Stopped Over Through A Room With Other People In It. If You See A Customs Official Or Policeman Waving At You, He May Actually Be Motioning You To Come Over. Instead Of A Crooked Finger Motion Toward The Body To Indicate “Come Here” The Indonesian Uses A Waving Motion Away From The Body. A Jakarta Custom, Partially Adopted From The Dutch, Is Top Shake Hands With Everyone In The Room When Arriving And Leaving A Gathering. When Meeting A Person For The First Time, Say Your Name. If You Listen Carefully, You Will Hear His. The Area Of Empty Space Each Around Him Is Much Smaller Than That Necessary For An American Or Northern European To Feel Physically Or Psychically Comfortable. This Is A “Touching Culture” With Much Acceptable Casual Body Contact. Therefore, There Is Always Room For Two On A Chair Or For One More Person On A Bench Or In A Bus. While Much Touching Is Acceptable, Do Not Pat People On The Top Of The Head. Indonesians Do Not Hit Or Spank Children But Rather Use A Strong Pinch. They Also Often Pinch Children, Not Always Lightly, As A Sign Of Pleasure. This Is Not Usually Easy For Western Children To Accept Gracefully. Indonesians Are Generally Not Comfortable Alone And Will Often Take A Friend Along On Errands. They Do Not Like To Sleep Alone In A Room At Night And Prefer Sleeping With The Lights On And Windows Shut. There Is A General Concern About Drafts, Breezes And Electric Fans For Fear Of Catching Cold ( Masuk Angin ). So Keep This In Mind When Seating Indonesian Guests.

TIME

Time Is Viewed Cyclically Rather Than Sequentially And The Relationship Of Actions In Time Is Relatively Unimportant. Nor Does One Tempt The Future By Planning Too Far Into It. This, Along With Unwillingness To Cause Displeasure, Is One Of The Reasons That Invitations Are Not Always Answered. Things Often Happen When They Happen, Particularly In Bali. Without Reference To The Clock. The Expression Jam Karet (Rubber Time) Is Widely Used To Mean Flexible Attitude Toward Punctuality. Most Westernized Social Events In Jakarta Do Start On Time, However. Particular Days Or Months Can Be Auspicious As They Occur In The Muslim, Javanese, Balinese Or Other Calendar Systems.

EATING AND DRINKING

Eating Is Not Necessarily A Communal Action In Indonesian Homes. Food May Be Put On The Table To Be Eaten When The Individual Is Hungry. Indonesian Foods Does Not Need To Be Served Stove Hot. In Places Where Fingers Are Used, Only The Fingers Of The Right Hand Are Employed, As The Left Hand Is Unclean. When Someone Comes To Your House, Even Uninvited, It Is Polite To Serve Something To Eat As Well As Drink. After They Have Been Served, Always Remember To Ask Your Indonesian Guests Verbally To Eat And Drink Because They Will Not Begin Until You Do. In Indonesian Homes Or Offices, The Drink Will Be Placed In Front Of Or Near You Rather Than Put Into Your Hand, Do Not Drink Or Eat Until Asked (Mari Silahkan Minum- “Let’s Drink” Or Just – Silahkan) Often Coffee Or Tea Brought Steaming Will Be Allowed To Cool As The Conversation Continues And Will Be Verbally Offered Late In A Meeting, After Which It Should Be Drunk Fairly Quickly And The Meeting Is At An End. A Completely Emptied Glass Indicates Need Of More, So Leave A Little.

CALLING

Just As Westerners Do People Honor By Asking Them To Their Homes, Indonesians Do People Honor By Going To Call Upon Them. As You Meet Indonesians With Whom You Would Like To Become Friends, Invite Them For A Meal Or Drink, That Is, After All, Our Way, But To Put Relationship On A Personal Reciprocal Basis, Also Call On Them. You Do Not Have To Wait To Be Invited, Although Some Notice Of Your Intention To Visit Would Undoubtedly Be Appreciated. After 5:30 In The Evening Is A Good Time To Go Visiting. Visiting Can Be A family Affair With The Children Taken Along. There Are Several Instances When By Indonesian Custom You Are Expected To Call. When You First Move Into A Neighborhood, At Least The Man Of The Household Should Call On The Other Families In The Street To Introduce Himself. Most Neighborhood Are Organized Into Rukun Tetangga ( RT ) Or Neighborhood Associations. It Is Polite To Inquire Who Is The Headman (Ketua RT) And To Introduce Your Self To Him. Making Lebaran Calls Is A Good Way Of Observing Indonesian Custom With Your Muslim Friends. ( Not All Indonesians Are Muslims, Although Most Of Them Are ) Lebaran. The Feast Which Marks The End Of The Fasting Month Of Ramadhan, Is The Traditional Time For Going To One’s Elders And Friends To Beg Forgiveness For Offences, Both Intentional And Unintentional (Maaf Lahir Dan Batin). Indonesians Start The First Day Of The Holiday At The Mosque And Then Gather At The Home Of The Eldest Relative For A Family Meal. They Must Call On All Their Older Relatives And Are In Turn Calle4d On By The Even More Junior Family Members. Calls Are Also Made Upon Superiors At Work And Older Friends. Foreigners Can Take This Opportunity To Call On Their Friends, Starting On The Lebaran Days And Continuing During The Week Or So After, To Wish Them The Joys Of The Season (Selamat Idul Fitri). This Is Also An Appropriate Time To Send Cards, Gifts, ( Cakes, Candy Or What Have You ) Or Flowers. Christmas And New Year Are The Time To Call On And Send Gifts To Christian Friends. The Foreigner Can Expect To Be Called On And To Receive Cards And Gifts, Whether He Is A Christian Or Not. Some, But Not All, Of Your Chinese Friends Will Observe Chinese New Year. A Visit And / Or Gift Is Appropriate.

SPECIAL OCCASIONS

Entertaining For Most Indonesians Is Reserved For The Ceremonial Occasions Which Mark The Progress Of Peoples Lives.

Marriage - Marriage Customs Vary From Suku (Ethnic Group) To Suku You Are Most Likely To Be Included In A Formal Public Reception. Dress Well ( Coat And Tie For Man ) And Take A Gift To The Reception Rather Than Sending It To The House Beforehand. Once You Have Arrived At The Hall, The Gift Is Left With The Attendants At The Door, And A Guest Book Is Signed. In Some Cases, You Proceed Directly To Greet The Bride And Groom And Their Families And Then To Help Yourself To Food And Drink, While In Other Cases, You Will Be Seated Upon Arrival And Speeches Will Be Made Both In Honor Of The Bride And Groom And Thanking Friends For Their Attendance. Then, Everyone Lines Up To Greet The Bride And Groom And Their Parents, Later Each Helps Himself To Food. After Eating, Guests Either Sit Around And Talk With Friends Or Say Good Bye And Leave.

Usually, The Wedding Ceremony Itself It Held In The Bride’s Home. If You Are Invited Here As Well As To The Reception, This Is The Time To Bring Your Gift. Custom Varies Considerably: In Some Homes, Men And Women Are Separated And Shoes Are Left At The Door. In Other Less Traditional, Or Less Strictly Muslim Homes, This Is Not Necessarily Done. In Any Case, You Will Be Shown Where To Sit. After The Various Ceremonies, Which Vary Greatly From Group To Group, One Greets To The Couple And The Parents And Eats A Meal. Weddings Are Family Affairs And Children Are Welcome.

Ceremonial Bathing Of The Bride, And Sometimes Of The Groom Although Not Usually At The Same House, Can Be One Of The Ceremonies Of The Day Proceeding The Wedding. This Event Is For Women Only. The Bathing Is Done By Older Married Women With Healthy Living Children. An Invitation To Attend Such A Ceremony Is Generally Extended To Relatives And Close Friends Only And May Or May Not Involve A Meal, Although, As In Any Time You Visit An Indonesian Home, You Will Certainly Be Served Something.